Well, we like long walks on the beach.
I always love it when people start with that. Pina coladas in the rain.
And maybe just kicking inside and watching a movie every now and then.
And playing with the dog and having a pet monkey.
A porno movie of course.
Of course. On the computer because all guys have porn on their computers.
Youíve been hanging out on a lot of dudes computers.
Thatís a given. You just know about things like that.
Or you just have a really dirty mind.
Yeah, that too which is perfectly okay I think.
(Talking to the driver) I think you just ran through two red lights.
Thatís all right. Somebody ran through a red light to turn left and then as I was crossing the street because the light was red this lady decided to drive through it. That seems to be something thatís going on today. Run red lights.
Itís a red light thing.
Aside from pina coladas and walks in the rain and driving on the curbÖ
We like Jaegermeister, Vicodins, and Crown Royal in no particular order.
Why does the other guy need antibiotics tonight? What happened?
He got I guess an infection. Thatís what weíre calling it. This is our ploy for someone to score drugs for everybody.
And your drug of choice would be?
Pepsi. Weíre over Coke. We did the taste test. Itís not good.
Prilosec is even better.
Okay, break it up. Chop it up and share it snort it.
I think thatís what people must do with that shit because Iím a pharmacy manager during the day and people steal that shit like itís going out of style.
Well, hello. This is where we turn off the tape and talk.
Yeah, do you have access to the drugs in the back?
I want a fistful of them right now. Weíre for real. Hardcore.
Tell me a bit about the record you guys put out back in May I guess it was.
It was in May. We had a great time making the record. We donít have a lot of great times.
Yeah, I can tell just by sitting in here with you guys for five minutes.
We just needed an excuse to tour so we made a record. We got tired of everything that was in our town and we just decided we wanted to go to every other town all over the place. We just got bored.
Where are you guys from?
Weíre from San Diego.
You guys got bored in San Diego?
No, what it was is we thought we had mono but we were actually really bored.
San Diego is such a fucked up place. How can you get bored there?
Exactly. I think you answered your own question.
Tell me a little bit about your songwriting.
Itís impeccable. ItĎs necessary. Weíre forced to do it. Weíre very punctual songwriters.
So are you guys on drugs when you write your songs?
Now? Thatís where you come in. Do you want us to be on drugs when we write our songs?
Yeah, the next time you write a record I want you guys all to be on drugs.
You better be there. We did record a couple of songs under the influence of different things. Pepsi. Diet.
Did you feel that lent quality to your songwriting abilities?
Probably not. Have you heard the record?
Yes, I did. Iíve been enjoying it.
I tell you what, if you use them while youíre listening to the record it sounds better.
I donít know. I like to be sober when I listen to shit so I can remember it later.
I see. So tell us a little bit more about youself. Weíre opposites. Opposites attract.
I like long walks in the rain and little pooches.
Thatís Mama Cass. Thatís our mascot.
How old is she?
Sheís an older pooch who watches out for you guys. They couldnít take care of themselves otherwise.
Again, thatís where you come in.
This is the part of the interview where you get kidnapped.
Thatís better than going to work tomorrow. Iím not going to complain.
Thatís how weíre going to get money.
I donít know if anybody will pay up though.
Weíll make them pay. We want two dollars.
Just enough money for gasoline and food please. You guys were supposed to go to Europe with Papa Roach and then you found out the day before that you werenít. What happened there?
Europe didnít want us.
I donít believe that.
We donít know what happened. Actually we were questioning it just about as much as you are. We just got there and basically they had another band that they were trying to get to go with them and at the last second they could make it so they told us ďoh, thatís all right. Thanks anyways.Ē
I donít think anybody was really upset by it. We had about three days to get ready for it.
Thatís actually not true. You were about the only person that was not upset about that.
His panties werenít in a bunch is what heís trying to say.
Until I get on a plane and we land, I donít get excited anymore. Weíve had a lot of tours like that where we thought we were going out.
Yeah, we had all kinds of stadium tours with Papa Roach in Europe.
I guess thatís what I was trying to say. We donít count our chickens.
So people fuck you over like that a lot.
No, I wouldnít say that.
He just has bad karma.
Oh, itís you. Itís you.
Weird shit happens to him.
Well, looking at him I can see why.
Call it as you see it Angela.
My interviews are never boring.
Watch us get in trouble again.
Uh oh, you mean you boys have gotten in trouble before?
Well, weíve been grossly misquoted.
Whatever you guys say is exactly the way it goes down. I was reading your website.
Thatís all lies. Bands do that from time to time.
Including the part about writing songs for a new record?
If you really want us to.
I do so that way I can have a sequel to the first record.
Actually thatís our second record that you have.
Oh, is it? See? Iíve got the sequel to the first record.
Youíve got the trifecta.
The Mower trifecta. Why did you guys choose the name Mower by the way?
Chris came up with it. Because what we do is in Jersey we go around and mow people down. Now you can see who actually came up with the name. You want to know the real reason? It has to do with numb chucks and blondes.
As long as youíre using the numb chucks on the blondes.
Yeah, weíll make a new record.
Call it Numb Chucks And Blondes.
Yes, why yes.
Just out of curiosity, when you guys are writing songs what goes through your minds if anything?
If anything did she say? What goes through your mind if anything? Weíre just thinking about all the cool interviews that weíre going to do. Aw man, theyíre going to ask me this about this song right here and Iím going to say yeah, uh huh. Right on, right on Angela. Sheís having fun.
Yes I am actually.
As long as you guys are having fun.
Yes, we are. Weíre having so much fun. Cass is having fun staring out the window.
Yeah, very intently at that building.
So now what?
(Hears sirens in the distance.) I think the police are coming for you.
Iíll kick their asses. Those guys are fags.
Actually the police in Dallas donít like to deal with crime unless you pay them off the clock. Theyíve got some weird thing about if you have a business down here and someone is selling crack on the street corner in front of your carwash, they actually expect the business owner to take care of the crime problem.
Cool. Thatís part of the fun. He took the law into his own hands. Vigilante justice. I tried to tell this crackhead to beat it and he knifed me. Thanks police officer.
Yeah, weíre back in the Wild West I guess. So, have you guys been writing songs for your new record?
And how many songs have you written so far?
Yes. We have at least six. Six or seven or so. Weíre going to write 40 and pick the best 10. We are. On the road weíve written some.
So when you guys write a record, do you write a whole shitload of songs and then you have to pick and choose?
We do in blocks. Just as it comes. Some of them come really fast. Some of them take a little while to develop. I think for this record weíre planning on definitely writing more than we need and weeding out the crap so I think we may have a good song. Or a double album. KISS Platinum.
KISS Alive. Is it difficult to have to weed out shit when you write?
No because you know when a song sucks so itís easy.
You guys would write stuff that sucks?
Well you could put that on a record. I think Jefferson Airplane or Starship or whatever fucking name they had did that once.
But we didnít build this city. We didnít build it. Sorry.
How has the tour been going so far?
So much fun. Weíre actually having a good time.
Do you guys have anybody out on the road with you?
Nah, but we actually got to play with Taproot in their hometown of Flint, Michigan which was really cool. It was a sold out show. Then we got to play with Otep in Cleveland.
Otep is badass.
Yeah and that was a really kickass show. Tomorrow night we get to play with (hed)pe in San Antonio. Weíve been on some good shows ourselves and weíve been picking up some great shows along the way so weíve been having a good time on this tour.
How long have you guys been out on the road or do you remember?
About two months. We left at the end of October and home by Christmas.
Do you have any plans after that?
Smoke some pot. Eat some turkey.
Snort some Zantac.
Whoa. Whatís with all the snorting? Tums.
You guys got me started on that. Iím going to be thinking about that at work tomorrow.
Hey listen, enough of the sweet talk. Whereís the god damned Vicodin?
I donít know. I donít think we have any of that shit.
All right, then the generic one. Weíre dying over here. Come on.
Something I thought was pretty cool is that you have two singers? How did you come up with that idea?
That was Chrisí idea. We tried to have three but I canít sing.
Chris is such an innovative fucker.
I know. Iím a true champion. Thatís what happens when you have four people that are just so behind. I just kick myself in the forehead every night. What am I doing? Watch, youíll see on the stage. Thereís me the talent and then there are four guys that are square pegs that arenít going in round holes. You know what Iím saying?
Change the holes. Shave off the rough edges. Make them round. Heís awfully quiet.
Ask him a direct question. You have to feed him a banana first.
I donít know. Heís sitting back there smiling.
Yeah, because heís ready to poop in his hand and throw it at you and then give you unacceptable faces. Faces that are unacceptable in society.
Oh, now heís laughing. Thatís kind of scary. So how are you doing back there? When you guys are driving down the road do you live back here?
We try to, yeah. Heís in the playpen at all times.
So what are you guys planning on doing after you go home, smoke pot, and eat turkey?
Feed the monkey. Sit on the couch. Mattís going into the desert. Itís Mattís birthday today.
Happy birthday Matt. Is this the way you planned on celebrating it?
Yes. Why yes. Mattís a real animal. He has a real chill personality.
Is that why he gets to drive the van?
Thatís why. We all drive the van. Heís the smart one.
Youíre the talent, heís the smart one, and thatís the monkey back there.
Youíre catching on. There will be a quiz later though. So far youíre doing well.
And you have a dog looking out for you guys. Thatís great.
Sheís great. Sheís actually been very cool to have on this tour. Her and Matt are real chill.
Yeah, thatís what she just said. That sheís real cool.
You talk dog?
Yeah, Iíve got enough animals at the house. You start to understand them after a while.
You want a monkey?
I donít know. How much do I have to feed him?
All you got to do is throw him a banana. Youíll have to open it for him.
Do you want me to cut it up for you?
He wants you to chew it up and then spit it out on him into his mouth.
Iím sorry, Iím not a bird.
Okay, the real reason that we have Cass along. Her name is Mama Cass. She takes care of the monkey.
Itís very quiet back there.
Heís pooping in his hand. Do you have more questions or do you just want to do this jazz fusion interview? Pot luck.
I think this is going to be a jazz fusion interview.
What are you going to title it? How about you underestimate our intelligence.
Iím going to put on there as fucking is.
Just make us look cool, man. Make us look cooler than we are.
I think the hairstyle already does that.
Until we open our mouths, right?
You guys did a video for ďRoad RageĒ. Have you done any other videos are or are you planning to?
We did a video for ďWrestle With The PigĒ on the first record. Weíre trying to figure out what and if weíre doing a second video. Weíve talked about it once and weíre trying to figure it out. The answer is yes. Weíll do another one sometime. Some place.
Do you feel doing videos helps promote the band?
Some people have different opinions about that.
Itís a lot of work and a lot of money. Video is another angle to catch somebodyís eye. Thereís a lot of people that know our band because of our videos.
Thatís the longest answer youíve given me so far.
Thatís not true. You want long answers, you wouldnít like me very much.
I think I like you already.
All right. At least Iíve got that going for me. We have the agency waiting for us right now inside of the club waiting to talk.
You donít want to the agency to have to wait on you.